Friday, November 6, 2015

Wading in the shallows, swimming in the deeps.

My characters are changing. They are evolving, a little bit at a time, into people. It is strange to me, I invented them; I could feel them standing next to me, living and breathing. But now they are...faceting themselves? I guess? My characters characters and demeanor and outlook and personality are changing.
Let's go a bit deeper, shall we? Into the unspoken.

I believe their evolution bodes well for my novel. It's easier to overlook absurdities in plot when you're characters are real people, with real reactions and not each a paragon. If my protagonist characters live out my personal ideals in full they just aren't believable.

Good on you, characters! Way to be team players!!!!! Momma wants to severely cut back on her day job! If I can at least make what I am making now (which is not a great deal, I only work three days a week) I can afford to leave my main job, then I can concentrate even more of my energies on writing. Use up some of the eleven story ideas I have. Make a decent salary.

An atoll. I'm not sure what this lifeless atoll has to do with abundance.
But the ocean is significant. And pretty.
Lately I have had the feeling that the waves of chaos are carrying me towards certain change. There have been a few times in my life when I have had (what seem to be to me) very strong signals that a certain way is clear.

I've had a bit, lately. Okay, more than a bit.
I've also had that unsettled feeling that something bigger is coming.
Some days...most days, I feel so strongly that this is what I'm meant to do. I am a bet hedger; I rarely think in absolutes. I am a hesitater, a safety first girl. But I know I am meant to do this. Not I could do this. Not I should do this. Not even I can do this. I feel I am meant to do this. It is a certainty, that if I write and keep writing I will get published.

I am meant to be a writer of science fiction and fantasy, spanning several sub-genres. A published author, with an agent and everything.

Then...other days...I wonder if I'm just freaking delusional. a person standing in the mist. That is an odd silhouette.
Evocative, yes? Of what I'm not sure.
I need it to work on my subconscious a bit.
I need to go put pants on. I'm a secondary LMT at a chiro office, scheduled to work Fridays but if there's no one on my books I can just stay at home on-call. The office is only eight minutes from my house. But to be a conscientious on-call employee I should be wearing my work clothes while I work on my real work.

The chiro job I'm keeping. If I am able to leave my main job I'd still upkeep my CEs for my massage therapy license and my liability insurance. That's my bet hedge, staying nominally employed in my current field so that if I do need to look for another position I won't have a gap in my resume. 

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