Monday, February 8, 2016

Sometimes a whisper is all you need.

Today a voice whispered "Release the past. Release the past and make way for the changes of the future. Make way for tomorrow."

I don't think it meant the actual tomorrow.

But I did it. I'm doing it. Releasing the past. A little bit at a time. I pick a thing, a thing I've been clinging to because I hold on to bits and bobs and doodads. Scraps of this and that, amassing these bits because my memory is poor. But the bits don't really help my memory, not most of them. The bits don't make me smile. There are certain things I'm keeping. Movie ticket stubs and fortune cookie slips, in a little box. Those still make me smile. They make me think. But a LOT of stuff is going.

I've been holding on to clothes too, clothes that are either worn out or way too big now, or both. Partly because I'm cheap and don't want to buy new clothes if the old ones still work, but also partly because I'm a little afraid of the new me. I'm a medium now, working steadily into a small. Ten year old XL t-shirts do not need to be kept. Except for the purple ones, until I can replace them with purple ones in my size. Because purple.

I've been picking up things in my bedroom now for three hours, looking at them and thinking, "You have no power over me. Not anymore." Yes, I'm well aware of the connection to Labyrinth, thank you. I watched it (for the hundredth time) a few weeks ago. It's probably been percolating in my subconscious, because I've been feeling stuck even though I'm working really hard.

I've been doing some personal spiritual work as well. I had asked (very, very respectfully) for a clear and unmistakable message. And now I've been answered. I didn't ask for miracles. Just a bit of help. Just, "I've lost my way. I can do it myself but I'm so confused I don't know where to begin. Can you show me where to begin?"

It's not any great epiphany. Just a whisper in my head. But it's made me feel better, less stuck, more determined. Sometimes a whisper is all you need. You just have to listen to it.

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