Friday, April 15, 2016

Call me Lopez La Pesado

Friday 5 for April 15: The Middle
Here I am...stuck in the middle with you...let's see if we can't get some fucking motivation before I go to MMA class for the first time in two weeks.

Oh. I am gonna be hatin' life after. I haven't even done any strength training. I sorta had a...bad brain day, that turned into a bad brain two weeks. I'm trying to get up again and here we go. 

What's something you're in the middle of?

Writing my fiction book that I started last NANO, planning the learn-to-cook cookbook that I'm going to write this NANO (I'm not pantsing it again...too stressful for me), research for my SCA persona (9th or 10th century Norse woman Valdis Skjaldardottir--I really must pick a settlement time and place...I'm leaning towards an Irish one right now) making a basic tunic and pants for SCA heavy weapons fighting practice (because damn it, if I have to wear loaner gear at least I can have the proper garb on underneath), and any one of thirty or so unfinished crossword puzzles in my Sunday New York Times crossword puzzle book. I'm in between pleasure reading materials right now, other than my persona research books.

This list would imply that I'm some sort of busy person. I am not.

What's in the middle of you?

Mostly useless guts and slimy goo. I'm thinking of having them replaced with the no doubt superior guts and oily goo of a mechanized droid. Then I can fix Sheila!

No, it's not nearly that interesting. My breakfast consisted of cooked spelt (because who the hell would eat uncooked spelt?) mixed with dried apple bits and fresh banana and homemade almond milk. Also I had coffee with a packet of Sweet Leaf and more of the aforementioned almond milk.

See? Boring. Just go back to me being a freaky cyborg. It totally works for me.

What is your residence in the middle of?

A small town. It's...picturesque. There's cornfields and beautiful skies. But...I wish we lived closer to one of the two larger towns up the road. I do a lot of driving. A LOT. Nearly everything we do is in the college town up the road or the town right next to it. The two towns sort of run together. All my martial arts classes, my NANO group is there, my SCA group meets up there, the grocery stores, the Walgreens, the different doctors for the whole family, the UU church, the two movie theaters, the big library, all the great restaurants...

What's a great food that features something in its middle?

Chocolate frosted doughnuts with whipped cream filling. NOT BISMARCKS!!!! I hate that pudding glop! That is pudding! Pudding is not a fucking cream!

I haven't had one of those whipped cream filled chocolate frosted doughnuts in soooooooo long. I miss them. That's the first thing I thought of when I read the question, but really, is the whipped cream a feature? It's not like the doughnut is showcasing the whipped cream somehow. It's just there. It's not a surprise. It's not all like, "TA DA! Whipped cream! Bet you weren't expecting that! Like the Spanish Inquisition!"  Unless it's the surprise that you bought a doughnut expecting creme and got pudding glop. 

Okay, the idea of my doughnuts making Python references is making me dizzy. Moving on.

What's the nearest you've been to the middle of nowhere?

Image result for kansas wheat fields
Northern Kansas:
Now featuring even more wheat.
Driving through the upper portion of Kansas. Or riding rather, as I was a kid and not participating in the driving. Wheat fields for miles in every direction. The one road with almost no other cars and the very occasional boarded up Stuckey's. As a child I had never seen that much nothing. It was scary. We were driving to Colorado to visit my grandmother. Damn, was I ever glad to be out of that creepy-ass state.

Fuuuuck. I have to get ready for class now. I need more coffee.


  1. Oh man. Your #4 answer made my morning. Thanks for participating in this week's 5! :)

  2. To think it all was prairie less than 300 years ago, and it all worked!

    Best Wishes on all your writing stuff. And getting the right kinds of donuts somewhere. Gah.. pudding... :p

    1. I can appreciate the stark beauty of Kansas NOW, but back then...shudder.

      I know where I can get the doughnuts, I'm just not getting the doughnuts. Sigh. Healthy eating plan and all that.