Always with the tests and practice.

Lawd, I thought once I was out of school I was done with the homework and tests and practice. Not so, Grasshopper.

I'm reading and researching, writing scripts, doing practice videos, figuring out where to look for the camera, testing makeup looks, trying to figure out how to set up my new phone so that it's a good height for recording. Shew. I don't want the camera (phone camera, but still) to be tilted up at me because I don't want people looking up my nostrils. I'm...how do you say it, sensitive? Self-conscious, that's it, I'm self-conscious about the size of my nose already (it's a feature on my father's side) and I feel better when the camera is straight on or slightly above my eye line so my huge nostrils aren't front and center.

So many things to remember. Good posture. Leaning back is unattractive for the lines of the neck and face and leaning forward looks hunched and draws attention to the jowls,

I'm once again frustrated by the makeup. The new camera has much higher definition. I was worried it would show more of the lines in my face and you know what, they are that bad. I've been consistent about my skin care routine. I need to do better moisturizing my lips and for god's sake, STOP SMOKING. The lips naturally thin as one ages and I didn't have super full lips to begin with. When you draw on a cigarette you reinforce those tiny lines around you lips. 

Now, you may be asking (because I know I am), why does all this matter? 

Why do I need to worry about this nonsense, why do I need to look "better", shouldn't my personality be all I need? I'M FUN.

Maybe. Maybe so. But I will be editing these videos. And if I'm cringing over all these things I won't be focusing on what's important. COMEDY!!!! Oh, and learning. But hey, comedy helps. I want to be fun and entertaining, that helps bring people in and we can all learn and grow together. If I can develop a natural screen presence then I'll feel far more comfortable making the videos and take less time editing them. Once I learn how to edit on my phone.

Gotta learn to sparkle, Shirley!

Surely I can learn to sparkle. I've already got the curly hair, that's mine naturally. Now I just need to grow an onscreen persona. Easy as pie.

See? That's entertainment. And we learned why it's important. Yay!

Shirley Temple, mid-sparkle.