500 Writing Prompts: When life gives you lemons...

 Finsih this sentence in three alternate and original ways: "When life gives you lemons..."

Lemon beside a Christmas cactus. GENIUS!

A) When life gives you lemons...say thank you and take those lemons, because lemons are expensive. Good quality lemons are fifty cents to a dollar each, depending on where you get them and the season. 

Not those bagged lemons, two dollars for a one pound bag. Those are useless. They're too small and they don't have the same flavor.

Wait...is life giving me bagged lemons? Eh...well, you can still use them. I wouldn't cook with them if I could avoid it, but you can still use them for cleaning. Or a still life to practice drawing and painting. Or putting them in random places in nature and taking pictures and making an art series out of them. Actually that's a pretty good idea, I might do that.

This was in the lemon image search, tagged "Green Lemons".
Um, Life? I'm not stupid. I know what lemons look like.
Those are not lemons.

Q)When life gives you lemons...check your fingers for hangnails and paper cuts, but life is an asshole like that sometimes. It thinks it's being all sneaky, giving you your favorite citrus fruit so you think you can just make lemon bars and tasty broiled swordfish steaks and candied lemon peel and all manner of sunny things, but life KNOWS you have a hangnail and it's just waiting to laugh at you. Life is a dick.

My house is not this nice. Not even close.
Still...#lifegoals.

7) When life gives you lemons...they're also giving you potential lemon trees. Thanks, Life! I've always wanted a lemon tree. Now if only I can keep the cats out of the pot until it's big enough to...scare the cats? Mess with their heads? Use harsh language at them? Because I'll have to put it in the living room in the winter and they'll probably mess with it. Cats are dicks too. 

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There. I thought those were pretty original. Good job, Self!