Sunday, January 3, 2016


After the fevered activity of months and months, my people are taking a break. It may have to do with my illness. I have a plain old cold, or some such. Not even a very bad one. It's only enough for me to feel exhausted, but not enough symptoms for me to feel justified being exhausted.

That makes no sense whatsoever, does it? I'm too tired to explain it.

Anyway, the characters that had taken over my brain have now left me with an echoing cavern. Nothing is coming to me. It's like...those scenes of abandoned ships or places. With things lying around, meals and tasks interrupted as if they will be returned to any moment.

This is more terrifying than when they won't leave me alone.

I'm afraid they won't come back. I've tried to amuse myself by playing with the games they left lying around, but it's like I suddenly don't understand or remember the rules, even though I made them.

Trying to think of a description of my mental state, I came up with the phrase "the doldrums".

Before looking it up, I vaguely knew the definition. A period of slow or no activity. It has a connotation of calm because it's maritime origin refers to an area near the equator, where the calmness of the wind and water would have lead to little to no activity for ships with sails. Calm in this case being a less than desired state.

This area also gives birth to hurricanes.

So there's hope. This picture manages to convey all I'm feeling at this very moment. Sadness, fear, tension, and the possibility of very, very shortly coming into a period of fever work.

Fever work is the best.

The Doldrums is also a band.

Doldrums: Electrowerkz, London – live review
I can't figure out who the picture belongs to, so I'm crediting the reviewer: Keith Goldhanger. 

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