I am not feeling the muse today. I'm about to get my period and...yes, that's right! I said that OUT LOUD! Uterine lining will be shed tonight! Fear my mighty mood-swings! Cower as I stomp through the house demanding chocolate and searching for a heating pad!
Okay, I'm done now. Anyway, perhaps the muse...shall we name her? I'm influenced by the Greek mythology I read as a child, so I envision any muse as female. Should I choose one of the original nine muses? None of them really fit for blogging, except maybe Clio as the muse of history-which I suppose technically fits because the second I click publish my words become a reference to the barely passed past. But I don't like "technically." Let's name her something else. I'll have to think on it. Maybe my muse will provide her own name somehow.
I'm cold! I want a cigarette! Guess I'm not done quite yet.
Moving on! My muse did not show up. Except she sort of did, because obviously I'm typing right this minute. She's phoning it in. I hope she's not musing some other would-be author. I want all the muse for myself! Maybe she's out climbing trees.
The flood of hormones is amplifying the pinball tendencies of my brain. I have to get dressed for work, I should start now even though I have forty minutes before I need to leave, because in this state of mind it will take me that long to get ready. I am unsatisfied with this post. But at least I posted.
Hey. Hey. Hey. I almost forgot. I have an idea for a collaboration with my son Dexter and myself. Stick-figure comic book histories! I would research the history of something...say, salt. Like way back to the beginning research. Write it up in my own particular idiom, paraphrasing it in a funny way while still maintaining accuracy of fact. Have Dexter illustrate them with his stick figures! His stick figures are not just regular old stick figures, they have definite Dexter style. At least, I think so. I am his mom, it's possible I have a slight bias. I'll have to post some so you can see what I mean. He's been drawing them for ten years now, he's really developed their...je ne sais quoi. Helping educate people through funny! It's the best of two awesome worlds! Two great tastes that taste great together! That is the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup of ideas!
Hey, no one is allowed to steal that idea, that is MY idea! I claim that idea. Copyright! Dexter needs a real job, he's twenty-one and can't drive yet, for Christ's sake!
Okay, seriously I'm done now. My laptop battery is running down and now I only have twenty-four minutes to get ready. Twenty-three...